Grateful for clean Toilets

So last Friday I took Lily and Roman to Lilys Gymnastics practice while Tara and Zach went to Basketball practice. Our first experience with "Divide and Conquer".  All was well until I started to pull into the school where Zach was having his practice.  I had the 2 kids in my truck and I knew what my stomach was wanting and I was having nothing to do with it.

I made it out of there alive and home but almost had to pull over on Barry Road. Funny thing is I would Die to be driving by and see some poor sap hunched over heaving on the side of the road, but I didn't get a chance to pass that possible gem on to someone else.

An hour or so later I was kneeling in the throne room admiring the craftsmanship of American Standard.  Heres the kicker I was sweating, breathing erratically, and drooling like a dog...  ohh my body wanted it out but nothing coming. I then did what any sane person who wanted to feel better would do. I went 3 knuckles deep down the ol' pie hole. Ba-ta Bing Bata Boom im in business. Man what a relief.

I guess I was so loud Tara was shocked the kids didn't ask what was making that sound. After Said experience I retired to my warm bed.  I was awoken not to long after to Tara collecting her Pillows and Sweetly saying im gonna go lay with the kids. Which for those you that cant translate Wife that means "That was nasty, you are nasty I want no part of any of that or you at this time so peace out Stallion".  Ok so I added the Stallion part but you get the idea.

Im better now but poor Zach is not. He put some red gummy fruit pieces on the carpet as I tried to get him to the bathroom last night.  That was an eventful evening to say the least. He is doing better today.

0 to 30 in 360 Months...

So the big 30 is coming up quick. I don't know how I feel about it... am I getting old am I still young? What have I been able to accomplish in the first third of my life?  Well I have stopped crapping in my pants, I can feed myself, and I learned how to drive a car. If I want to think positive and put forth some effort I could Say that I lived in a foreign country and speak 2 languages, started my own business, I have managed to brain wash a hot chick into marrying me. Then if I really think about my most important and most amazing accomplishments it would have to be my children Zachary, Lily, and Roman.  


Well this blog thing is going to be new and fun I hope. I will be honest and up front now my pics will suck unless I poach them from my wife and the content will most likely embarrass her as well. Disclaimer complete.